This blog is focused on sharing experiences, starting with mine, on the relationship challenges associated with a spouse or fiance immigrating to the US along with the interesting process of developing and sustaining an inter-cultural relationship. I am the US citizen and my inter-cultural relationship is with a Ghanaian man - so most of the discussion involves similar relationships. However, the blog is open to hearing experiences of any relationship that is relevant to the topics posted.

Send topic suggestions to me at visajourneyghana@gmail.com.

Learning to follow God's lead!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Facebook Chat with Hanson Ewans - The reason for this blog!

March 6, 2011

9:15am    hey mrs kassim

9:16am   Hello Mr. Ewans.

9:16am   hahahahahaha    how r u?

9:16am   LOL. I am well. I am happy that you have enjoyed the blog. Hope all is well with you.

9:17am   oh all is well am even at work

9:17am  Oh my - well then I am honored to have your attention right now.

9:17am  lol wen skyla came, i saw ur husband mr kassim

9:18am  Wish I could have seen him and met everyone else. Miss him more than I can express.

9:19am  oh hmmmmm   he was such a calm man

9:19am  That's my husband - they call him Standfirm

9:20am  hahahahahahahahahaha   abt ur blogs

9:20am  Talk to me

9:21am  k      do u really go into all dis husle all the time before d man gets der?

9:22am  Everything you have read is 100% true.  This is not an easy journey.

9:23am  its tooooo much

9:24am  I am in contact with a number of people who are going through the journey and I have found way too many similarities. The biggest issue is that the women feel very alone through the process because often times your family and friends don't trust the relationship and are waiting to hear it fail.

9:24am  wow  God be with any lady going through this right now

9:25am  As a result, the women have no one to talk to - but we have found each other. Some marriages/relationships have failed because of these issues. I am in contact with a few women who are really struggling through their relationship now that their husband is with them.

9:25am  struggling again? how,   why

9:26am  I know the men don't fully understand what their wives are going through just as the women don't fully understand who their men are as Ghanaian men.

9:26am  we r very simple to understand   onless the man is not geniue

9:27am  I have found that to be true about men in general - it is the woman that is complicated.
One area I have come to learn women don't understand is the male ego.

9:28am  yh

9:28am  The male ego is what defines the man - it is where his values and principles and perception of life rests.  It is strong but fragile - and we women are not careful in our treatment of men in this area - we will quickly step on the fragile part of a man's ego.

9:29am  yes   therefore it is always god to study that part of hijm very well... and i promise u will live with him happilly ever after

9:31am  So I have learned and still learning. On the flip side, men need to understand the vulnerability of a woman's self-esteem. This is where you will find all of her fears.
Men sometimes view this side only as a weakness. The truth is the woman works very hard to mask this side everyday in order to survive. It is the area where a man can help a woman grow to be stronger.  Pay attention when she cries - what is really going on behind the scene that resulted in her tears? It is not always obvious - we know that Ghanaian men don't handle women crying very well.  My husband has helped me to toughen up in this area a little - my tears are very focused and clear now (if that makes any sense). He is a little more sensitive and understanding when it happens.

9:34am  wow

9:36am  The biggest issue is that we really need to talk more - women can't begin to understand you guys if you don't reveal yourself - saying things like baby, I felt like this, when you said that to me - now that would have a major impact on your relationship.  Please add a comment on my blog and encourage your friends to do so as well. These women only want to learn how to love you.

9:37am  oh okay

9:37am
I would love to post our chat on my blog. Do I have your permission - I won't include your name.

9:37am  i guess u will be connecting me to some princess soon

9:38am  lol

9:38am  oh go ahead

9:38am  Keep reading the blog and let me know if you are up to the challenge and we shall see what can be done.

9:38am  hahahahahahahahaha  i will k

9:40am  Do you want to be posted as anonymous or do you want me to identify you?

9:40am  yh  i dentify me k  or it can go agains me?

9:41am  You are awesome. I am confident that the women will appreciate your honesty. Hopefully, it will encourage other men to raise some questions.

9:43am  ok -  watch for your posting

9:43am  hmmm  i will

9:43am  lol - bye bye for now

9:44am  chao\

1 comment:

  1. Thank you... love to hear from more of the men... rememerwe won't know who you are if you post as anonymous (for your privacy) :)

    ReplyDelete