This blog is focused on sharing experiences, starting with mine, on the relationship challenges associated with a spouse or fiance immigrating to the US along with the interesting process of developing and sustaining an inter-cultural relationship. I am the US citizen and my inter-cultural relationship is with a Ghanaian man - so most of the discussion involves similar relationships. However, the blog is open to hearing experiences of any relationship that is relevant to the topics posted.

Send topic suggestions to me at visajourneyghana@gmail.com.

Learning to follow God's lead!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

If you could give advice to anyone considering a relationship with someone outside of the US what you tell them?

As I think back on the beginning of my relationship with Ibrahim and our decision to become married I remember how naive we were with this entire visa process. We started out with the K1 fiance visa process and we just knew he would be in the US no later than 6 months - ROTFLMAO!!!!! We had no clue as to what this "visa journey" was really about or how difficult this process would be. So, here we are 3 years later and it looks like it will be another year before he might even get an interview for the second visa process. The journey that God allowed us to experience has proven to be priceless! Knowing what I know now I can say the time has been well spent and we have been blessed as my husband would say "abundantly". Unlike Ibrahim and myself, several of you who read this blog had the advantage of becoming thoroughly educated and informed on what to expect through the visa process including the current situation with the US Embassy in Ghana. I also know that, although the additional knowledge was helpful, it doesn't ease the challenges of being separated for so long. I do understand that each persons journey is unique as God planned, not as we planned. With all of this in mind, my question to everyone is this - If you could give advice to any US citizen considering a relationship with someone outside of the US who would need to go through the visa process, what advice would you give to them? I am also interested in hearing from the other side - the non-US citizen perspective - what advice would you give?
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6 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 16, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    I always wondered what I would say to someone if I were asked this very question and on different emotional levels of this "VISA ROLLERCOASTER" I can honestly say that it really would truly depend on which day they catch me on. What I mean by that is some days I can be brutally honest with someone without care of their feelings or emotional state but on most days I can be honest but with the thought in mind of how I felt at the time when I first wanted this questioned answered for me . but no matter what I say the most important and only thing im interested in when I talk about it with someone is basically finding out if the person, wheither male or female have FAITH. Cause without faith the road they are about to travel on is lonely, harsh and riddled with unexpected disappointments but if they got faith and true love for one another than like all of us , they can do it .

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  2. UnknownApril 16, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    my thoughts to them would be to ensure that they have lots of faith, love, respect and dedication for each other. and to ensure that they trust life and all it has to offer, expect the worse but hope for the best. because in this process you quickly learn that getting a visa is not a right, but rather a privilege and that patience is the key ingredient in the visa journey. if armed with all that in mind then i would say go for it :)

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  3. Sugar BabyApril 16, 2011 at 1:18 PM

    Neke29 - and Faith is much easier to say than to achieve. I agree with you. In this journey, you faith and love will be challenged at the highest degree. Not just your faith and love in and with your partner, your faith in God.

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  4. AnonymousApril 16, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Its gone to take a lot of Love,Trust Patience & Discipline! Without any of the listed you will drive yourself crazy and it will be a very hard road to follow. Sheree

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  5. AnonymousJanuary 12, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    It is a very hard journey. You become the mother, father, mentor, counselor, lover, and wife all wrap in one. It is very stressful! My husband is having a hard time adjusting mainly because he has not found a job. It really makes him feel bad that I am the main provider. At times he regret coming to america. Then for me it hard because I am doing it all and I feel like he is being ungrateful and need to be patient. It not easy and at times I regret putting myself in this position. Its not the fairy tale that many see it as while in the visa process stages. Everyone story is different, but for me I am feeling pessimistic about it all. Hoping my husband can stand the test of times. Only advice I have is patience and prayer and more patience and prayer!

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  6. AnonymousJanuary 13, 2013 at 12:22 PM

    Don't do it. That's all.

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