Swept Off My Feet in the Atlantic Ocean - Myra & Ibrahim's Story

I met Ibrahim while I was on a 2 week vacation in Ghana. I arrived in Accra on Sunday May 11, 2008 and was scheduled to depart on Sunday May 25, 2008. I came to Ghana with three goals in mind: 1 – relaxation; 2 - to learn about the people and their culture, especially as it relates to women; 3 – to develop a connection with the continent of my ancestors.

I wanted to experience Ghana from the perspective of a Ghanaian not as a tourist. Fortunately a friend in the US (Ali) understood my interest and offered me the opportunity to live with his family in the Accra region – near the town of Taifa.  I could not have asked for a better situation. Ali’s family allowed me to experience the beauty of Ghanaian hospitality to guest. Everyday a member of the family was available to escort me to many places in Accra. Those trips included grocery shopping, visiting schools, touring the diverse neighborhoods, and spending time with them on their day to day activities. They made sure that I had the opportunity to visit places of interest such as the Kwame Nkrumah museum and monument. One place I particularly wanted to visit was the beach. It was suggested that I visit Labadi Beach. 

My first week in Ghana was focused on the culture and education system. I decided I would dedicate the second week to relaxation and fun. My second week began on Sunday, May 18^th – the day the family decided to go to the beach. The plan was for me to go the beach with Abdul, Sule, and two of the younger children in the family.

The mother of the one of the members of the family had spent the weekend at the home with us in Taifa. The plan was to take her back to her home on our way to the beach. When we dropped her off at her home another man joined us. I had no idea who he was – I assumed he was a friend who just needed a ride to some close by location.  He was introduced to me as Ibrahim. As with anyone I met, I was happy to meet a friend of the family. However, I did not pay much attention to him since I thought he would be leaving the car shortly.  I didn’t really get his name – something that was not unusual for me due to the fact that the accents often distracted my ability to comprehend words said to me. I was a bit surprised when I realized he was still with us when we reached the beach.  Just like the other members of the family and their friends he seemed very pleasant. Just like other men I had encountered on this trip I still paid him very little attention beyond the normal courtesies of meeting new people. I was very cautious about drawing the attention of men to me for any reason beyond that of a very short term visitor to the country.  In addition, as an American woman, I was aware of the interest of some African men to exploit a relationship with an American woman for reasons of financial gain and/or citizenship into the US.  (Caught up in stereotype.) I had no way of knowing that my life was about to dramatically change for the better that day at Labadi Beach.

We walked a ways down the beach before finding the place where we were going to relax.  The walk was wonderful. I chose to walk close to the water because the sand was compact and easier to walk on which was important since I was carrying the smallest child on my back.  I took off my shoes so that I could feel the warmth of the Atlantic Ocean on my feet and lower legs. It was absolutely enchanting.

Shortly after we reached our destination I could tell that the children were ready to go into the water. It was Ibrahim who spoke first by asking me if I were ready to get into the water. I was a bit surprised due to the fact that I still didn’t know who he was. I remember looking at him and saying to him: “what is your name again, I don’t remember”. This was a very true statement for it took his repeating his name two or three times before I was able to grasp what he was saying. (Of course, I still wasn’t comfortable in pronouncing his name. I was stuck on a familiar American name of Abraham. The emphasis on the second syllable of his name kept throwing me off. Now hearing his name is like music to my ears and heart.)  I was still very hesitant to really look at him although I don’t know why I would continue to feel that way at this point since he was clearly established as a regular member of the family. Then he did something that attempted to spark the animalistic side of me – he took off his shirt and revealed the most beautiful body I have ever seen. It only took one glance for me see the evenness of his deep chocolate skin adorned the upper half of his body. With one glance I could see that his body was like a strong, but gentle, black panther. Too much for me to behold so I chose to look in other directions.

It didn’t take long for me to regain control of the situation. So, I grabbed the hand of the youngest child and told the other one to join us. Then I realized that neither of the only family members was coming along. When I asked them if they were going to join us they said no because they did not bring swimsuits and were content seating at the table under the umbrella – they were strategically placed to enjoy all of the beautiful sights on the beach.  Off we went to an area of the beach that He felt was better for enjoying the water. As we walked, I noticed how people were staring at us. I don’t know why we were the center of attention. We just looked like a happy family of four walking hand in hand – me out the outside, the smallest child holding left hand and His right hand, and the other child was holding His left hand. I guess it was just a comforting site to see. For some strange reason I did feel very comfortable walking as a family with him – another thought I quickly erased from my mind.  Then we began to talk.

I don’t recall all that we discussed. However, at some point the conversation began to focus on my US connection with the family I was staying with.  I felt compelled to let him know that I was once in a relationship with Ali but it ended in October, 2007. I explained to him that Ali and I were just good friends at this time. Why was it important for me to make sure that he understood the fact that I was a single woman – totally available. (I didn’t like the feel of this conversation – but, for some reason it also felt right.) I came to my senses when he made a comment about a sensitive topic to me – he said that he could see Ali and me together since Ali was a big man and I was a big girl. Hmmm – that slapped me out of any daze I was in. My cultural sensitivity sensation kicked into gear keeping me from letting him know that he just insulted me. Deep inside I knew that was not his intention, so, I eased down and accepted the comment as a gift to keep me from having unwanted thoughts about this person. It was obvious to me that I was not his type of female – a big girl.  This was good for me. We reached a section of the beach were many people were enjoying the waves of the Atlantic Ocean – that’s where it all began.

Being a non-swimmer I am terribly afraid of the power of ocean waves. I have been in situations in the ocean in the past where I was knocked off of my feet and looking up at what appeared to be water several feet above my head – I am sure this is an exaggeration, but, it seemed real at the time. Because of the weakness in my knees due to arthritis, I am an easy prey to be knocked off of my feet by even the weakest waves. His attempt to grab my hand and pull me into the water was met with a strong resistance by me. All of a sudden I felt like a little girl whose father was trying to convince her to get on one of the “big kid” rides at an amusement park. I pulled back and through a face filled with laughter and fear I told him that I was not going to go deep into the water. He smiled and continued to gently pull and nudge me into the water. My next thought went to the 2 little children who had accompanied us to this point. He assured me they would be ok on the beach. He followed up his assurance to me by yelling out some words to them in his language that resulted in their moving a safe distance away from the water. Of course, that still wasn’t enough for me. My life as an American has made me very sensitive to the possibilities of “child snatching”. Again, He assured me that the children were very safe. For some reason I decided to trust  Him with both his knowledge that children would be safe playing alone in the sand and I would be safe in his hands – off I went into the ocean with Him holding my hands as tightly as he could. What happened next is still a mystery and surprise to me.

Trust is a powerful action word.  My life has been one where whenever I was afraid the only person I would rely on and fully trust is myself – there were times when I didn’t even allow God to take the lead (after this trip, I became much wiser in this regard). I believed that the only person I could rely on to take proper care of me was me, myself, and only I.  On this day, at this time, in the Atlantic Ocean approximately 8642 kilometers away from home I turned over my trust to a man whose name I could not properly pronounce and whose face I had barely seen.  This mystery man grabbed my hand and pulled me deeper into this powerful ocean – something I would have ever considered.

He gave me instructions on what to do when the waves would come upon us – I followed his instructions with little hesitation. At some point I was facing him and he instructed me to lean back into the water and stretch out my arms.  I did this and openly received the large wave that was about to cradle my body in its grip. If I had seen a picture of me comfortably stretched out beneath the wave with the only support on my body being the strong hands of a man whose name I couldn’t pronounce and face I chose to not look at. He held on to me with the firmest most assured grip I have ever felt – I knew I was safe.  Although he is much taller than me, I am more than positive that I outweigh his lean strong body by more than I am willing to admit in writing – I knew he would never let me fall.

At some point I found myself completely wrapped around his body, my legs tightly secured around his waist, my arms wrapped around his neck as if holding on for dear life; my cheek safely resting against his cheek as our bodies were bathed in the comforting warm sun.

We were both caught up in the surprise of the entire experience and found ourselves speechless because we could not stop laughing. The laughing at times was so uncontrollable that I was afraid I was going to cause Him to fall back into the water. He assured me that it was not difficult to hold me in the water (being a “big” girl – that was comforting information – lol).

Some people may think this was a sexual experience – and it had the potential to be just that. For some reason neither of us would give in to that potential – somehow I knew we both knew that something more powerful than sexual stimulation was taking place – although I cannot deny the stimulation. I was focused on the fact that I would not be caught up in some sexual fantasy with an unknown man from so far away.

He seemed so focused in his chivalry. At one point he did something that sent chills up my body more than anything else. I was wearing a two piece bathing suit of which the bottom half was covered with an attached skirt. While in the water, the skirt portion of my bathing suit would float and rest on top of the water or on my back revealing the under pants portion of the suit. Every so often I would feel his hands ever so gently press my skirt down as if to conceal what was underneath from the eyes of any interested party. He could have taken advantage of this opportunity to grab hold of my bottom, but, he did not. He seemed only focused on repositioning my skirt into a respectable appearance. At this point I felt my heart might be in trouble and so I began praying to God – begging Him to stop the unwanted feelings that were beginning to develop inside of me. It was at this point that I felt something come over us, embracing us – I knew it was the arms of God. With his arms wrapped around me, the warmth of the sun toasting our already very deep brown bodies, and the swirl of the Atlantic Ocean moving around us within its’ unique ebb and flow motions I slowly raised my head and as I looked towards the sky in my mind I could hear me saying – no God, please don’t tell me you brought me over 5000 miles away from my home to meet the man!

We laughed, we coughed and blew out the ocean from our noses (disgusting, but, necessary) – but, we never looked into each others eyes – I would not allow this to happen. I realized that I was lingering in my embraces with him much longer than was necessary. He never resisted. Once when my cheek was resting on his I could feel him beginning to slowly turn his face in away that would result in complete eye contact between us – the beginning of a kiss – in an attempt to resist this desirable moment I turn my head further away from his. My efforts worked to keep us focused on the fun we were having in the Atlantic Ocean – fun like I have never experienced.

I rode on his back while he walked even deeper into the waves; following his instructions I would stand in the water then go under the water while waiting for an approaching wave. Whatever he said, I would do. The funny thing is that I didn’t feel powerless under his instructions, I just felt safe in my joy – I trusted his every word.

As much as I enjoyed our time with the Atlantic Ocean, I began to feel overwhelmed with the pain of the salt water in my ears. Eventually, I had to give in and request that we get out of the water for awhile. His initial reaction was to try and protect my ears by placing his fingers in them – too late, the salt water won and I needed to a break.

Our time together in the water seemed to me as if there was no one there but us. Every so often I became aware of the fact that there were many people in the water, many who seemed to be watching us acting like two little kids. I assumed it was a bit entertaining watching my hysterical reactions to the wave. Deep inside I felt it was something else. I felt people being drawn to us for reasons unknown to them and unknown to us. I eventually realized that they were chosen as witnesses to God’s joining of two spirits in love. No one knew what was happening, not even Ibrahim and myself, but everyone could feel something happening – especially Ibrahim and me. 

The Atlantic Ocean has always been a powerful and romantic symbol to me. It was the Atlantic Ocean that brought my people from freedom into slavery. It was the Atlantic Ocean that I crossed to return to the land of my ancestors. It was the Atlantic Ocean that God used as the vehicle to bring me and Ibrahim together in a love that is so very pure.

That was the beginning of our journey in love of which we have never faltered.

This video was recorded on our last day together when we first met:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAc4KPnfK5g