A concern many women have is how can we help to ease the transition process for our men when they come to the states. Under the Congratulations - You are an American woman married to a Ghanaian man discussion, Flor said:
"I know that not being in Ghana will be a BIG culture shock to him in Florida. I thinks thats why he wants to move north soon after he arrives.He knows people up there. What crosses my mind is that he will get here and not to soon after, that he will want to leave. Im willing to support him in every way, I just dont want him to be scared or uncomfortable. I know it will be a while for him to start working or to keep busy, just pray that I come home one day and he is still there. We can love each other, trust each other, confide, communicate and have all the security in the world but it wont change the fact that it can happen."
Are there other women who share Flor's concern? Any thoughts from the brothers? Looking for an active discussion here. Hope you guys figure out how to post your comments - I am off to work and can't wait to hear what has been discussed under this topic.
Yes, I am concerned how he will transition to his new life in the U.S.. Not so much about him having a support system because he will have all that and more here because the majority of his family is here. I worry more about what will he do when he get here while we wait for all his legal documents? Will he find a job and such? I have thought about this. I even posted a question on VJ about, What is your S/O doing while they wait to adjust status? I thought about him taking a class or volunteering. I live in the Washington DC area so it will be alot easier for my fiance to adjust on some levels. There are lots of places and activites that cater to all cultures! There is a large community of most African countries. Thats what I love about this area. They have many african stores and restaurants, so getting his favorite foods will not be a problem. The weather may be a challenge though! LOL! By the time he comes it will be alot warmer than the winter months but by all means he will experience the cold weather of the DC area. Mensahluv
ReplyDeleteSheree - I feel you girl. Being a member of VJ for a few years I have seen this issue as a common one. It's one of those necessary evil things that the immigrating spouse has to deal with for awhile - of course what they deal with you deal with beside them. I would say that you are thinking about all the right things in advance. For me, I find that it is even more important to let my husband know that I am ok with the time needed for his adjustment especially knowing that it could take some time before a job is found. I am sure your husband is no different than mine whereas he is ready to get here and begin his role as the man of the house which includes contributing financially. Because it may take some time for him to land a job, as his wife, I know that I must do my part to help him become established in his role as the man of the house especially during the early lean financial months that we will probably have. During that time, there is a lot for him to become accustomed to.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the things you mentioned in your comment consider some of the following (may or may not apply to your husband): a driving class to become familiar with the rules of driving in the US; a basic financial management class to help him become more familiar with the financial processes in the US; find some site seeing excursions to help him to become familiar with the area while you are working - don't forget a gps if you don't already have one; check out home repair programs that may be offered for free at stores like Home Depot; - my point is think of all the practical things he needs to become familiar with and don't assume anything.
But, do allow him time to just rest when he first gets here - let him know that you are ok with it but also have a list of things that are available for him to start doing after he has readjusted his sleep schedule. Here's another item to consider - introduce him to the process of reading food labels in the US to help him with the nutrition process. We have so much junk in our delicious pre-packaged food - you want him to understand the potential impact of that junk since he may not be use to it. I have found that a lot of the guys from Ghana know how to and can cook their traditional food quite well - be sure you have done your homework by finding the shops that sell the spices and other ingredients he is use to. A good activity for both of you is working together preparing meals - sharing techniques and recipes. Don't forget to find a place where he can get at least a basic or advanced work out or jogging path.
All of that being said - don't forget to ask him how he would like to spend his time and know that the time will pass. Before you know it, he will be as busy as every other hard working person in the USA wishing for a day off.
Yes, we have talk about this. I suggeseted volunteering, studying for driving test* I already got the study guide), working out (we have a nice trail close to home), and taking a class somewhere( Got the local community college class schedule). You have gave some other good suggestions to think about. I already have one home project for him. We do have a home depot very close by. lol! Painting the garage! Not too much! lol!
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