Comment to the Universe: please don't breathe life into the topic title by throwing some negative vibes on our process - just want to have a discussion. Hope that covers us - now for the discussion!
The truth of this visa journey process is that after all the preparation, paperwork, and money spent the final decision of whether or not your spouse or fiance receives a visa that will allow them to immigrate to the US lies in the hand of one person - the interviewer at the US Embassy where your loved one lives. You may not realize it, but, the interviewer could take one look at the interviewee and if they feel that something isn't legit the visa application can be denied with the quickness.
Of course this is not a thought we want to entertain or believe can happen to us - but, it does happen. You can go through an appeal process that might take another year and pray that all is well. But what if the stars are not lining up in your favor - what if God has another plan for you since we don't really know His plans until they happen? If you made the decision to marry your loved one who lives so far away - what are you going to do if the visa is denied? How far are you really willing to go for love?
We are all so in love and don't believe this could ever happen to us. With chest stuck out proud an strong we say things like "if the visa is not approved I am going to move to the country where my spouse lives". Think about that - could you really do it - I mean really do it and be satisfied with your decision to live so far away from what you are familiar and probably comfortable with?
Unlike many others, I didn't go to Ghana initially to meet a love interest - but, I did find one there and left with his engagement ring around my heart. Before I left, Ibrahim asked me if I would consider staying there and living with him - without hesitation I said "no". I loved Ghana, but, I couldn't see myself adjusting to the different lifestyle. Also, I knew how much I loved my US conveniences. My favorite line was that if there was no 7/11 available I couldn't live there. Call me a spoiled American Brat - for real.
As time went on and as our loved continued to grow deeper and deeper I started considering the possibility of immigrating to Ghana. Just like everybody else, once we were married there was no question in my mind about the possibility of me moving to Ghana if the visa process didn't work in our favor. Being married kicked up the bravado in me. I shifted from caring about the conveniences of a 7/11 store to realizing that I just made a life commitment and I was going to live where ever my husband lived. My new bold statement became - I am going to be with my husband in spite of what the US government decides! That sounds so powerful, so romantic! Yeah, right Ms. Thing! Am I really ready to make and accept the necessary adjustments or am I just saying this because deep down inside I don't believe the government will deny my husband his visa. I haven't done as much homework as I should do regarding life in Ghana, but, here are some of the things I know I need to consider before I can really be strong in saying I would move to Ghana if the visa didn't work out:
- What about my kids, the rest of my family, my friends?
- What about a job - I am reasonably marketable in the US. What do I know about employment in Ghana?
- I am bold sassy confident woman who sometimes says more than she should - How would that work in Ghana?
- What about my Oil of Olay products - how am I going to get them when I run out?
- Am I going to miss my favorite Subway Subs or McDonald's fries?
- Social mores - how about that issue of public display of emotions; being that I am a "touchy feely" girl
- Can I really survive without my LifeTime channel or TCM?
- Let's not forget driving in Ghana - it ain't for the warm fuzzy folks like me - besides, I am scared of the open drain areas
Have you explored this one with your spouse?
Actually this is one of the main issues we talked about before I even went to Ghana and married. I will go to Ghana if they don't let my husband come here. My husband has always said it doesn't matter where we are as long as we are together. But we both know that the states offers more at this time for us than Ghana. That is why we have gone through this process to bring him here. He refuses to believe God would have brought us together if he didn't intend on us being together forever. I have never had as much faith as my husband but have grown and am still growing in that faith. He and I believe he will come home to the states but this subject is a great one I bet many have not considered. So take much consideration on this topic for all those who haven't..Anything can happen in life, I just pray that my husband will be coming home to the states soon.
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that I can not live without my husband. God did NOT bring us this far just to drop us off. Either he comes here (gets the visa), I will go there or a 3rd option would be for both of us to immigrate to another country. It is something we will focus more on after we get results from the visa process. Because let's face it the best option would be to get approval on the visa and have one of us already settled in a career and more options for my spouse in jobs and/or education versus both of us not being settled into careers.
ReplyDeleteOne concern of mine for moving to Ghana would be the employment situation and 2nd would be the driving or transportation.
I have faith though that whatever God has planned for us is what will be! We must just follow His lead!
My fiance and I have discussed this topic last year, still do at times. We thought of all the pros and cons. We understand the difference of our lifestyle, but he worries more about how I would adjust. I already had put things in motion in case he doesnt get the visa, but we know that God has already granted the visa. The Embassy needs confirmation. Us living there or them living here, does it really matter? Either or one of us has to do the adjusting. We, the US citizens perfer our convience and comfort..lol If my man can come here and adjust, why cant I do the same for him if it came down to it?
ReplyDeleteNo matter what obstacles are in front of you, God's love can turn everything around. He has abundant, supernatural blessings waiting for you! - Joel Osteen
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, If my fiance had not gotten his visa, I really dont believe I could relocate to Ghana without a job. I am settle in my career and at this time in my life a move would not have work for me. If I could get a job I would have went without a doubt. Thank God for his blessings to put us together.
ReplyDeleteI think having children like I do would prevent me from making this move. The transition for them in their teenage years would be quiet difficult. I would probably wait until they went off to college make the move and visit home several times a year. I would use my retirement money wisely while I still pursued his coming here and hopefully be able to sustain as I do not think I could get a job in my profession there.
ReplyDeletei worried about this many times after the 1 yr i thought its never gonna happen and i sat down too pray about it some more when it hit me,God had placed me in this spot and he will see me through it as well,if he got visa then it was meant to be,if he was not given it i knew then there was something that God was trying to teach me.
ReplyDeletebe it that it meant i was too move to Ghana or just that he was trying to show me my own strenght,that he needed me to have more faith i knew he was trying to teach me something.
when i would get comments like"hes using you for a visa" i finally said "ok,if that is what hes doing fine,but then that means im giving to someone that has nothing , giving him something he may have never had and that also means that i have been given things that i may have never had.
i always felt that if it was meant to be it would and if time was what God needed me to give i would and if it seemed i needed too make other choice God too would lead me there as well,its been 7 yrs now 5 of then he has been home with me and even with the ups and down of married life,i would never change it!
Thank you so very much for sharing your experience! It is so encouraging to hear a success story from someone who has been together for as long you have been. Congratulations and best of luck for continued and longer lasting happiness in your marriage.
ReplyDeletei am working on a teleportation device in case the embassy decides to void our visa. hmm mailing it might be a problem ;P
ReplyDeleteKofi, what is a teleportation device? Sheree
ReplyDeletethe teleportation device is something that Kofi just made it up. it doesn't mean anythn
ReplyDeleteI am all for a teleportation device (I am thinking somewhere along the lines of Star Trek) Just beam me over! Sounds good to me Kofi!
ReplyDelete